Velvet and Paisley
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Sadness
2002-06-10 @ 6:59 p.m.

I am feeling horrible and need some place to vent. Out of the four times I have been pregnant, I have one child with me. Two of the losses are my fault. This one might be my fault as well.

Its possible that my previous selfishness (the abortion) damaged my uterus so that I can no longer sustain a pregnancy. Maybe the fact that it took me until six weeks lmp to quit smoking.

Maybe I am only destined to have one child. I just don't know how many more losses I can handle.

That's it. My heart is broken and I don't know what I can do to fix it.